1. Never Try To Be Successful
Success is the bye-product. Excellence always creates success. So, never run after the success, let it happen automatically in the life.
2. Freedom To Life
Don’t die before actual death. Live every moment to the fullest as you are going to
die today night. Life is gifted to humankind to live, live & live @ happiness.
3. Passion Leads To Excellence
When your hobby becomes your profession and passion becomes your profession. You will be able to lead up to excellence in the life. Satisfaction, pleasure, joy and love will be the outcome of following passion. Following your passion for years, you will surely become something one day.
4. Learning Is Very Simple
Teachers do fail. Learners never fail. Learning is never complicated or difficult. Learning is always possible whatever rule you apply.
5. Pressure At Head
Current education system is developing pressures on students’ head. University intelligence is useful and making some impact in the life but it cannot be at the cost of the life.
6. Life Is Emotion Management Not Intelligence Optimization
Memory and regular study have definite value and it always helps you in leading a life. You are able to survive even if you can make some mark in the path of the life. With artificial intelligence, you can survive and win but you cannot prove yourself genius. Therefore, in this process genius dies in you.
7. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Necessity creates pressure and forces you to invent something or to make it happen or to use your potentiality. Amir Khan in this film, 3 idiots, is able to prove in the film by using aqua guard pump at the last moment.
8. Simplicity is Life
Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and Indian culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: ‘Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky’
9. Industrial Leadership
Dean of the institute in 3 idiots is showing very typical leadership. He has his own principles, values and ideology, and he leads the whole institute accordingly. This is an example of current institutional leadership. In the present scenario, most of the institutes are fixed in a block or Squarish thinking.
10. Importance Of One Word In Communication
If communication dies, everything dies. Each word has impact and value in communication. One word if used wrongly or emphasized wrongly or paused at a wrong place in communication what effect it creates and how is it affected is demonstrated very well in this movie.
11. Mediocrity Is Penalized
Middle class family or average talent or average institute is going to suffer and has to pay maximum price in the life if they do not upgrade their living standards. To be born poor or as an average person is not a crime but to die as an average person with middle class talent is miserable and if you are unable to optimize your potentiality and die with unused potentiality then that is your shameful truth. One should not die as a mediocre. He/she has to bring out genius inside him/her and has to use his/her potentiality to the optimum level.

Aamir Khan – Aamir Hussain Khan

Ajay Devgan – Vishal Devgan

Ajit – Hamid Ali Khan

Akshay Kumar – Rajiv Bhatia

Amitabh Bachchan – Amit Srivastav

Ashok Kumar – Kumud Ganguly

Bobby Deol – Vijay Singh Deol

Dev Anand – Devdutt Pishorimal Anand

Dharmendra – Dharam Singh Deol

Dilip Kumar – Yusuf Khan

Govinda – Govinda Arun Ahuja

Jeetendra – Ravi Kapoor

John Abraham – Farhan Abraham

Johnny Lever – Badruddin Qazi

Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar

Kumar Gaurav – Manoj Tulli

Lucky Ali – Maqsood Mehmood Ali

Madhubala – Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi

Mahima Chaudhry – Ritu Chaudhry

Mallika Sherawat – Reema Lamba

Manoj Kumar – Hare Krishna Goswami

Nana Patekar – Vishwanath Patekar

Raj Kumar – Kulbushan Pandit

Rajesh Khanna – Jatin Khanna

Rajnikant – Sivaji Rao Gaekwad

Rekha – Bhanurekha Ganesan

Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan

Sanjeev Kumar – Haribhai Jarivala

Shammi Kapoor – Shamsher Raj Kapoor

Shashi Kapoor – Balbirraj Kapoor

Sunil Dutt – Balraj Dutt

Sunny Deol – Ajay Singh Deol

Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri

Joke 1:
Buri Niyat Wale Gayab
Buri niyat wale gayab!

Ek Devta ka mandir tha jisme buri niyat wale gayab ho jata tha.

Salman gaya aur gayab ho gaya, Shahrukh gaya aur who bhi gayab ho gaya.

Mallika Sherawat gayi aur bhagwan gayab ho gaya!


Joke 2:
SRK, Rajini and Chiranjivi at Cricket Match
Chiranjeevi
Cheeru, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball…..... 
Bowler bowls it and Cheeru hits with tremendous power…...the ball goes far away and UMPIRES are forced to give 12 runs for that.
Cheeru WINS the match….... .....


Shahrukh
Shahrukh, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball….....
Bowler bowls it and Shahrukh glides it to 3rd man….....the ball goes to boundary line Shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw, ShahRukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at Keepers end, Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram….
Shahruk WINS the match…....


Rajni
Rajni ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball….....
Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power…....the ball splits into “TWO”
1 half goes to SIX.....The other half goes to FOUR........
Rajini WINS the match….... .........


Joke 3:
Bollywood PJ

Q : What Would Dharmendra Say To Hema Malini If He Wants Her To Call Him Up?
A : RING DE BASANTI¦

Q : A Man Asks For Priyagold Biscuits From Inzamam. Why?
A : Priyagold! 'HAQ' Se Maango¦

Q : Once An Auto Rickshaw Driver Enters Into NO ENTRY.
      The Police Does Not Stops Him. Why?
A : Because He Was Walking¦

Q : Once A Cockroach Was Singing A Song While He Was Walking On The Road...
      But All Of A Sudden He Died. Why?
A : B'coz The Song He Was Singing Was HIT!!! 

Joke 4:

Bollywood and Accountants

What if Chartered Accountants start producing movies ???
1. Munnabhai C.A.
2. Hamara Ledger Aapke Paas Hai
3. Kaho na Depreciation Hai
4. Journal Se Balance Sheet Tak
5. Kabhi Credit Kabhi Debit
6. Hum Tax de Chuke Sanam
7. Kya Yehi Credit Period Hai?
8. Main A/cs ki Diwani Hoon
9. Maine Audit kiya
10. Maine Audit kyun kiya
11. Jab Jab Discount Mile
12. Petty Cash Apna Apna
13. Bill hai ke Pass hota nahin
14. Hum hai Accountant bekaar ke
15. Jo Tally hua wohi Trial Balance
16. Bus itna as BYAZ (Interest) hai
17. Tally 7.2 instal karke rakhna
18. Balance sheet ki kasam
19. Kyu Tally ho gaya na
20. Calculater sirf mere liye.

Joke 5:
If Guru Datt was a software Consultant
Yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya
Yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
Yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya
Yeh product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?
Yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti
Yeh basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
Yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
Yeh review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
Har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi
Excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi
Yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki
Yeh release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
Jalaa do ise, phoonk do yeh monitor
Mere saamne se hataa do yeh modem
Tumahaara hai tumhi sambhaalo ye computer
Yeh product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?"

Joke 1:
Keshto and His Wife:
Kesto Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road.
A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"

"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Kesto.

"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"

"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Kesto says in his usual style.

"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?

"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Kesto, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".


Joke 2:
Bollywood Stars in Call Centers
Ever imagined how it would be when we see Bollywood stars in BPO industry, taking calls of the customers. We dont feel pity for bollywood, but what will happen to customers. God! save them…

Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care. Rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hain filhaal ek customer care agent hain.

Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER

Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.
Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.
Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha.
uske baad, uske baad mere bhai, Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.

Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg. .

Customer: I need help

Dharmendra: main aa raha hoon maa.

Customer: I am unable to use your product, its waste and worthless.

Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaaonga.

Customer: What!!! I need your manager

Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne mat naachna

Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai.

Customer : How dare you speak like that

Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh, seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna, haaaaaaaaa!! !

Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya

Customer: I lost my invoice

Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain mil jayegi. Hum angrezon ke zamaane ke agent hain..haahhaaa

Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye.

Customer: hi

Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko, tumko kya problem hai

Customer : I have not received my product

Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon. Police mien report likha..

Shakti: AAAuuuuuu… mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu

Customer: I need your manager

Shakti: Mujhse baat karona. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyara sa agent hooon..

Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi … thank you ji for calling ji.. Ayyo

Customer : I am not devi

Mehmood : Ayyo muruga… ye dyevi nai ji … ye to dyeva hai…

Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai. May I know your name please
Customer : Mona

Ajit: Mona darling. Tumne hamein call kyun kiya

Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER

Ajit: Mona dear, Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to hamein manage kaun karega.

Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHA ….Jo dargaya wo maraga… batao tumhen kya chahiye

Customer : I want to buy a product from your company

Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re

Customer : $ 10.00

Gabbar: Suaar Ke baccho, sirf $10.00, dhikkaar hai

Prem Chopra: Prem…Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra…

Customer : I lost my invoice I need one

Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle

Rajkumar : Jaani, Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna

Customer: I lost my invoice

Rajkumar: Jaani… ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi

Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes… otherwise I will speak to your manager

Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena, manager humko dara sake manager mein itna dum nahi, humse hai manager, manager se hum nahi.

Lastly…

Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkk (Stuck at K)

Customer hung up the phone…


Joke 3:
Bhakt ki Guzaarish
Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.

Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.

Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan

Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.



Joke 4:
Basanti and Dhanno ki izzat ka sawaal hai
Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.

Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.


Joke 5:
What if doctors make films

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?

1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam
2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam

Joke 1:
Main hoon Do Numbri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam
Dikhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda …. ” ( amazing )

Joke 2:

Jitani tumane saanse li hongi, usase jyaada maine lashein girayi hai (!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ??????? )

Joke 3:

Mantriji:- “Ye kanch bullretproof hai. tum mujhe chu bhi nahi sakte”
Mithun Da:-”Ye kanch bulletproof hai magar patthhar proof nahi”
AND HE BREAKS IT BY THROWING STONES ON THE GLASS.

Joke 4:

And the best one…………….
Mithun da gets a bullet on his leg, Looks at the villain scornfully, calmly stands up and says-
“DUSHMANO KI LAASHON PAR BHANGRA KARNE WALA KABHI LANGDA NAHIN HO SAKTA”
” Koi Shaq..??

Joke 5:

ORIGINAL:
Jab bhi koi ladki dekhon........mera dil dewana bole
ole......ole ole......ole...ole...ole.........
gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............
Ole.....Ole .....Ole...................Ole....Ole.....Ole........
REMIX:
Jab bhi koi Party deekhon........mera bhooka paet bole
chole......chole...chole......chole...chole...chole.........
khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............
chOle.....chOle .....chOle...................chOle....chOle.....chOle........

Joke 1:
People often talk about Rajnikant, but they forget about the antics and dialogues of our great Mithun da ..
Here are some amazing dialogues from Mithun da’s films. Enjoy !!!!

Joke 2:

” Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jal nahi sakti…..
aur yeh tay hai ki teri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti ”

Joke 3:

Apuun ka naam hai HEERA, Apuun ne sab ko Cheera…” (wah wah…..)

Joke 4:

shetty: “kaun hai be tu?”
Mithun da says-
“Mai hoon tum jaise logon se nafarat karne wala,
Garibon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala
tuze banake maut ka Ek niwala,
tere sine mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala.
Mila doonga yamraj se tere ko salaaaa.” (what a poetry!!!!!)

Joke 5:

kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi……chandaal hoon tum chaho toh mera program note karlo
…tum sab meri diary mein mar chuke ho!
mein chahoo toh tum sabko abhi mar sakta hoon
magar abhi maarne se tumhe maarne ka credit meri bullet ko mil jayega!!!! ”
(kya logic hai!!!!!!!! !,superb! )

शायरी  1:

पलकों  पे  अपनी  बिठाया  है  तुम्हे ,
बड़ी  दुवाओं  के  बाद  पाया  है  तुम्हे ,
आसानी  से  नहीं  मिले  हो  तुम
नेशनल  ज़ुओलोगिकल  पार्क  से  चुराया  है  तुम्हे ….!!!

 

शायरी  2:

दिल  की  बात  दिल  में  मत  रखना,

जो,  पसंद हो  उससे  I  love you कहना ,

अगर  वो  गुस्से  में  आ  जाए  तो  डरना  मत ,

राखी  निकालना  और  कहना  प्यारी  बहना  मिलती  रहना …

 

शायरी  3:

तेरी  ज़िन्दगी  में  कभी  गम  न  हो
तेरी  आँखे  कभी  नम  न  हो
मेरी  दुआ  है  के  मिले  तुझे  एक  स्मार्ट  सी  दुल्हन
जिसका  Weight 150 Kg. से  कम  न  हो ! :)

 

 

शायरी  4:

पानी  में  Whiskey मिलाओ  तो  नशा  चढ़ता है ,

पानी  में  Rum मिलाओ  तो  नशा  चढ़ता है ,

पानी  में  ब्रांडी  मिलाओ  तो  नशा चढ़ता  है ,

साला  पानी  में  ही  कुछ  गड़बड़  है … :)

 

शायरी  5:

उसने  हाथों  पर  मेहँदी  लगाईं  है ,

हमने  उसकी  डोली  सजाई  है ,

हमें  पता  था  वो  बेवफा  निकलेगी

इसलिए  हमने  उसकी  छोटी  बहन  भी फसाई है!!!